The Challenges of Two Idiots
by Strikey-Chan
Summary: First it was Cam tricking Ash into refusing a date with Lillian. Then it was Ash sneaking shampoo and making Cam bald. Not men bald. Bald bald. Now Cam's declaring a war of love for their one love...! "You see this blue feather?" "You. Wouldn't." "Watch me. Bastard." "Poor Lillian." Laney sighed. "Getting stuck between two idiots." Discontinued.
1. Trickery Is Wisdom!

**A/N: Yo, guys! It's been a while, hasn't it? Since I'm always updating slow XD**

**I did this a long time ago. Then I was like "let's redo it!" and yeah. The result this, from my idea of the summary. The first chapter is pretty much the same, though. Nothing much has changed...**

**SO, WITHOUT FURTHUR ADO, ENJOY!**

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**The Challenges Of Two Idiots**

**Chapter One**

**Trickery Is Wisdom!**

Ash was in a bad mood; not the moods that really kill people, I mean the bad moods that make you distressed. He grudgingly walked to Cam's flower shop.

"Cam, you sell roses here?" he asked.

Cam nodded. "Sure do."

"I'll take four."

Cam wrapped the four stacks of roses into the plastic-folder-ish-thingy. "That'll be 700g."

Ash grabbed the flowers, handed the money and left without even saying 'thank you'. Cam raised a brow. Something was definitely wrong with Ash. He was always in a gay mood and saying "I LURVE ANIMAHS" and he was not saying that today.

"What's up with the mood?"

"…."

"PMS?"

"What the hell?" Ash muttered in disgust. Cam was a bit taken aback. That was the first time he heard Ash swearing. Ash sighed and rested his elbow on Cam's counter. "I'm just stressed, that's all."

"With what?"

"Town's been asking me to do their favors. Laney asked me to buy these flowers cause she was busy." He curled his hand into a fist. "I'm doing six favors each day!"

Cam's brow twitched. "Woah. _Six _each day? Why can't you just say no to the favors?"

Ash's shoulders drooped a little. "That's just _it_. I _can't _say 'no', these people need my help! They're in _need_!"

Cam sighed in exasperation. "You _need _your willpower too. Seriously, sometimes I think you're _too _nice. Sure, you can do a favor or two, but don't let Bluebell folks treat you like their slave. Anyway, what's so hard saying 'no' ? It's just a two-letter word."

Ash face palmed. "Heh; how would you know. You're so anti-social, of course it's easy to say 'no' !" he protested.

"Just follow my lead. See how the _master _does it." Cam smirked. Ash merely rolled his eyes.

Sure enough, Howard came skipping to Cam's flower shop. "Oh hello, Cam! There's a leak in our house! Would you care fixing it?"

"Sorry Howard; can't." Cam said simply.

Howard looked disappointed; then he turned to Ash. "What about you, Ash..?" he said hopefully. "N-no?" Ash mumbled.

Howard shrugged. "Oh well. Might as well call a plumber to fix it." He turned around, ready to leave. "If I even have a phone, that is…" Howard muttered.

Cam smiled. "There, see? That's how you do it."

Ash couldn't believe it was as simple as that.

Suddenly Ash saw Grady coming here. "Why, hello boys!" he greeted them politely. "Say, can you do me a favor?"

Cam looked expectantly at Ash. "Sorry, no." Ash said. Grady nodded, said thanks and left.

He was getting good at this.

"ASH!"

SHIT SHIT SHIT.

"Ash, Ash, Ash! Come on, lets play!" it was his little sister Cheryl, for Goddess's sake. He couldn't say no to this one; he had _never _say no to his sister in his entire life.

"E-err Cheryl, stop. I can't come with you! NO FREAGGIN WAY!" Ash managed to yell before Cheryl stopped tugging his sleeve.

Cam raised a brow high, giving Ash the _"you just swore to a kid!" _look.

"What! Why not?"

"I'm… busy."

"Busy with what? You're done with your farm chores, right?"

"I'm… helping Howard on which dress would fit him for the prom tonight."

Cam raised a brow. Ash gave a _just-go-on-with-it _look.

"I didn't know you were into girly things, Ash!" Cheryl said in amazement. "You'll be sure to get a girlfriend by next week! Bring a dress home for your little sister too, kay!" she scampered off.

Ash sweat dropped. "Whew."

Cam rolled his eyes. "Wow, great idea." He said in fake awe.

"Well, it's not my fault that-"

"Hey guys!" a voice interrupted Ash's sentence.

_Lillian_.

Beautiful yet hardworking Lillian; she had just moved in last season and all the bachelors had fell for her. Including Ash and Cam.

"Ash! I've been looking for you!" she smiled. "Would you like to go for a walk?"

This time Ash didn't even hesitate, nor think about it. "No."

Lillian looked a bit disappointed, but she brightened up as she turned to Cam. "What about you, Cam?"

Cam nodded and gave a small smile. "Sure." he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. Cue the fangirl screams.

Lillian beamed. "Thanks Cam! Meet me at the flowerbeds at 3 PM, kay?" she said. Cam nodded, still smiling at the angel. Lillian turned to Ash. "Sorry to bother you... Hehe!" she scratched her head in embarassment.

"W-wait!" Ash blushed due to her cute look. "I'm not -"

Too late. She had ran off to her farm.

Ash. Was. Speechless.

He turned to his master of wisdom, seeking for advice.

Cam smirked. "_You_," he started, "Have just turned down the offer of going on a extremely rare _date _with Lillian."

"B-but, but, but-"

"I didn't say you had to say no to _everything_." Cam snickered.

He closed the flower shop and left Ash with a gawking mouth opened, not believing what he had done.

"NOOOOOOooooOOOOOooooOO!"


	2. Spying Is A Good Experience!

**The Challenges Of Two Idiots**

**Chapter Two**

**Spying Is A Good Experience!**

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Ash. Was. Mad.

No. Forget the word mad. He was GODZILLA!

And here he thought Cam was his friggin best buddy.

Ash decided to go take a walk in the mountains to cool off a bit. He spotted Reina, and waved, seeing he was the friendly type of person. He continued walking. Maybe he would see his 'pet' rabbit in the wild, 'Paws'. Original name, I know.

He was just about to go to the lake to catch fish to his heart's extent when...

DUN DUN DUN DUUUN!

Oh. It was just Lillian and Cam pick some flowers. Ash walked by.

WAIT!

_Pause. Rewind. Play._

LILLIAN AND CAM PICKING SOME FLOWERS? TOGETHER?

Ash instantly hid at that very moment. They looked so happy together. Lillian laughing... Cam was laughing...

HOLD IT!

_**Cam**__ is laughing? What next, Lillian turns into a beaver?_ Ash thought absurdly. He couldn't stand the sight of them together. Lillian laughing like an angel? Yes. Cam turning gay suddenly? No. Just NO.

He turned tail and fled to Konohana, not caring where he was going.

When he reached the village, he started searching for the first person that came to his mind.

Then he spotted him.

_Kana_.

"Yo, Ash!" the ponytailed person called. "Why're you here? Betrayed your village yet? Runnin' away from home?" he smirked.

Ash gritted his teeth. He hated Kana. Despised, even. Kana was the number one most hated person in his heart. But stll, he enjoyed challenges from time to time. But this wasn't the time for challenges, nor was it the time to pull each other's balls out.

"Yo, Kana. What would you do if you were too nice to refuse any favors and your best friend helps you say no to every single thing but in the end he tricks you to say no to your crush who asked you on a date and in the end she goes out with your best friend?" Ash said lamely.

Kana tipped his head. "Well... First thing, I'm not a really nice person."

Ash sighed and walked away. No help.

"WAIT! I'M NOT DONE."

Ash turned around. What?

"Let me guess. GuyXGirlXthe forever alone who's seeking for my Godly advice?"

Ash's eyebrows crunched together. Kana didn't know that he had a crush on Lillian as well. But he told himself to stay calm, seeing as Kana _could_ give him pretty decent advice once in a while. _Once in a while_.

Kana pulled Ash and started whispering to his ear.

"Tell the guy this..."

"Okay..."

"And then..."

"You're kidding!"

"Yup. Let him scream in utter girlishness and enjoy your happy meal."

Ash nodded as Kana started finishing whispering.

And with that, he was ready.

**To Where We Go To Another Place~**

"Cheryl, come here!" Ash called in his little sister with an awesome brother voice. Cheryl stopped watering the crops and skipped over to her elder brother. "Mmm?"

Ash plopped a bottle out of his pocket. "Why don't you give this to Cam?"

Cheryl's eyes widened. "But that's..."

Ash grinned. "Tell him Lillian uses it, kay?"

Cheryl nodded. "For the sake of revenge!"

She began running towards the town square which would lead to Cam's flower shop. Ash sighed happily.

Yes. What a great brother he was.

**We Shall Move On To Cheryl~**

Cheryl looked around, finding the flower shop. She didn't take that long to find it. After all, her brother was always hanging out with Cam. And since she always stalked her brother, it was pretty easy to find out where her victim was.

"CAM!"

The brunette man turned around. He was apparently dealing with some roses. "Oh. It's you. Bratty kid."

Cheryl stomped her foot in rage. "I am NOT a bratty kid!" she shrieked.

Cam rolled his eyes. "What do you want? Your brother sent you to take his revenge because of his cowardice?" he smirked. He seemed to be enjoying teasing the child.

That could only make Cheryl shriek even more. "My brother is NOT a coward!"

Cheryl could only realize how childish she was right now. She tried to stay calm and tried to fulfill her mission.

She took out the bottle from her dress pocket. "Here." she handed him.

"What is this?"

"How should I know? Lilli told me to give it to you. She says it's a shampoo she uses a lot." Cheryl shrugged her shoulders. She was a good actress.

The bottle had been transformed and disguised to seem as if it was a bottle of shampoo. It even had a fake brand on it.

_The G.T.R. Shampoo. _Cheryl didn't know what kind of brand was _that_, but hey. Whatever works.

Immeadiately, Cam's face lighted up. "Thanks kid." he said. "You better run along now, eat some lolipops and go back to your brother."

Cheryl stuck out her tongue. "Whatever!" she said and scampered away.

"By the way, lolipops are unhealthy!" she yelled.

While she was running, she smirked. Mission acomplished.

_Ash, you're going to be so proud of me!_

**To Which We Go To Cam's Room~**

Cam plopped down on his bed and stared at the shampoo bottle. If it wasn't for Lillian, he wouldn't have closed his shop down early.

Catiously, Cam opened the cap of the shampoo bottle and took a small whiff of it. His eyebrows rose. It wasn't bad, but it had a strong scent.

He shrugged. Lillian had good taste. All women seemed to care about their hair, anyways.

As night came, Cam would normally want to take his normal night shower. It had been a hard day.

He buttoned off his shirt slowly. He was only doing this process in a slow method because of one reason.

_Why do I feel like I'm being watched..._ Cam thought. _Creepy..._

As Cam entered the bathroom and turned on the shower, he decided to use the shampoo Lillian had given to him.

He suddenly heard some noises. Of people... talking?

He whipped his head over to the bathroom window. No one.

Cam turned around again slowly. God, what was with the fangirls not giving him any sense of privacy?

**We Shall Go To The Awesome Pair Of Siblings~**

"Be quiet, Ash! I can't see!"

"He'll hear you, idiot!"

Ash pulled his little sister's head down. Not only were they going to be in trouble for going home late, but they were spying on some guy taking a bath.

Oh Goddess no.

"He's taking the shampoo!"

Ash eyed the inside of the window. Cam was doing everything the two siblings had planned. Rubbing it over his head, letting the warm water rinse his head...

Cam lifted up the shampoo bottle and suddenly got glance of... a message at the bottom? He peered at it.

Just as he was about to read it, he felt something fall on his shoulders.

The last thing he saw was a outrageous message written by nonetheless, Cheryl and Ash.

_Trolled Ya._

"MAI HAAAAAAAAIRRRRRR!"

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**END OF CHAPTER TWO**

**Oh Gosh, I had a hard time writing this one ==**

**Cam's getting his own medicine. Yup. He's bald.**

**I have to admit; How the heck can Cheryl even stand at the sight of Cam showering naked? I would have already run away in a nosebleed by then XD**

**Well, off to the third chapter, guys! Stay with me until Strikey-Chan updates! Btw, these fail comedy series is only going to be five chappies.**

**PEACE!**

**END OF AUTHOR'S EXTRA RANT**


	3. Fluff, Fluff, Oh Mai Gawd!

**The Challenges Of Two Idiots**

**Chapter Three**

**Fluff, Fluff, _Oh Mai Gawd_ Cam's A Murderer..?!**

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"Those guys... Those FRIGGIN' ASSHOLES!"

Laney cringed as she was mixing her bowl. What in the world? Why was Cam yelling so early in the morning? Their neighbours would complain and that would get bad.

The blonde sighed and placed her mixing bowl on the counter before walking to Cam's door. She knocked politely. "Cam? Is everything okay?"

Laney waited for a few seconds. Out came Cam, dressed in his proper atire, but Laney wasn't baffled about that.

"Why... Do you have a towel over your head?"

Cam shoved his hands into his pockets. "My hair's growing long, so I just follow what girls do to their hair after a shower." he said uncomfortably.

Laney raised a brow. "You could just cut it, you know." she said. She stretched out her hand for the green towel. "If you don't know how, I could -"

Bam. Went down Cam's face. He stood so very still. Laney was aghast.

Cam was bald. Not men bald. Bald bald.

"Don't tell me... you tried to cut it yourself?-!" Laney gasped. Her face went white. She knew men were noobs when it came to hair!

Cam covered his head with frustration. "No, no! Ash and Cheryl gave me some stupid shampoo and my head goes bye bye to Cam." he huffed.

Laney thought thoughtfully. "How are you supposed to go outside?" she questioned.

Cam looked disgusted. "Hell no."

Laney twicked her fingers together. "I could borrow a wig from Lillian. She brought a few from the city." she said.

Cam's face went white.

* * *

"It looks good, but the curve of his lips is just..."

Lillian was 'experimenting' her wigs on Cam. From oldies to spiky, from pink to house, she had everything.

Cam felt like a guinea pig. He couldn't even bear to smile in front of Lillian. Baldness was just too embarrassing. The most embarrassing moment Cam had was just in elementary school, when he had a sticker taped behind his back reading, 'Pinch me if you think I'm gay'. Luckily, half of his fangirls had protected him. Being the male bitch was awesome sometimes.

"Perfect...?" Lillian said finally, stepping back as she looked at the latest wig she had made Cam wear. "Laney, what do you think?" she asked for the blonde's opinion.

"He looks... Surprisingly normal." Laney folded her arms. Lillian had tried her best as possible when cutting the brown wig sample. She giggled before grabbing Cam's violet cap and reached forward to place it on his head. The formerly-bald man had red streaks across his face as he realized their faces were close.

Laney squealed inside while keeping a poker face. _Awww_. She was a loyal LillianXCam shipper all the way.

"Get off my face!" Cam stepped back indignantly. His embarrassment meter was rising hysterically. Lillian hid a look of anguish, but did as she was told.

"Now that that's done, you're all set to go outside!" Lillian said in her buoyant mood. Her eyes danced with happiness, but Laney could see through her. She made a mental note to lecture Cam later.

"Thanks Lillian. I owe you one." Cam headed for the door, but he turned around and patted the shorter girl's head. His eyes glinted with gentle pleasure.

By this time, Laney's fan girl meter had gone up to the maximum. _Boom_. Shakalaka.

Lillian's eyes widened before breaking into a smile. Her face brightened with silent relief. Cam wasn't annoyed with her.

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"You gotta get prepared, Cherry. That douchebag can be here any minute now." Ash spat out the words with contempt. A shorter, childish-looking, pig-tailed blonde raised her head and crossed her brows. She gave a withering stare. Cheryl hated it when her brother called her by that name.

"Cam's an arrogant man, big brother. I don't think he would dare get out of the house with his shiny head. And what's the meaning of 'douchebag'?" she asked.

Ash's eyes were brimming with tears. Cheryl had called him 'big brother'! He couldn't remember when she had last called him that. The older man patted his little sister's head. "Bad people, it means bad people." he said, smiling.

"Ash, could you help me with the chickens?" Jessica called from the chicken coop. Ash straightened his hat. "Coming, mom! Cheryl, why don't you go and feed Choco and the other cows?" he suggested gently before scampering over to his mother.

"Lillian will be coming today to collect an animal." Jessica told Ash.

"Which one?"

"That one over there."

Ash turned his head to the direction of his mother's finger and was surprised to see the small and tiny chicken.

Jessica chuckled. "Strange, isn't it?" she said. "She insisted that she took the frail and smallest one, saying no one would take it if she didn't." Jessica smiled gently.

Ash picked the chicken up. "You're going to have a great owner."

_Knock knock, knock knock._

"Ah, she's here!" Jessica looked up in surprise from the chicken feed. "Ash, why don't you answer the door for me? Give her the chicken too, while you're at it."

Ash stepped outside the chicken coop, still carrying the chicken. Grunting and careful not to make the feathered creature panic, Ash turned the doorknob. "Hey, Lilllian -"

There was Cam. But that wasn't what was shocking Ash.

He had a hammer in his hand.

And he had hair.

"_I CHALLENGE YOU TO A COMPETITION TO GET LILLIAN!" _Cam spat out the words with malicious glee. He raised his hammer.

Ash's sapphire eyes widened. His eyebrows were so high he swore it reached his hair. Cam's hammer was rising hysterically. His sweat dripped with spite.

Ash was sure of one thing though. Yes, even if Cam had knocked him out.

This was the declaration of war. The _Challenges Of Two Idiot_s war.

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**END OF CHAPTER THREE**

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**Fluff, fluff, _oh mai gawd_ Strikey-Chan updated..?!**

**I know it's been like four months. I'M SORRY!**

**I thought I would update before fasting month started (I'm a Muslim), but some personal things came up and I really had to delay my writing time until now. I APOLOGIZE!**

**I have been in a 'war' with some people I know, my father just recently ended up in the hospital and like I said, with fasting month starting and all, I just... Couldn't update.**

**What's fasting month? The Holy Ramadhan, where we have to fast for a whole month. We can eat only at dawn (like 5 AM of the day) then endure our hunger until dusk when we can eat. (like 7 PM) The Fasting Month also teaches us to be patient and not get angry so much. And after Ramadhan, it's HARI RAYA! (which is near!) BOO YEAH! We go to each other houses, eat, chat, get money, for a month! It's like a reward, y'know? Don't eat for a month, then party for a month. Heh heh. I always look forward to Ramadhan and Hari Raya :D**

**Anyway, enough about my life. How's all of you doing? I hope none of you have run away, though I would understand... Heh...**

**Really, reviews and Pms keep my spirits up. If you guys are really getting inpatient, please drop me a PM. Or as I like to call it, 'Scratch In The Back/Reminder Message'. **

**Please continue reading this story! Thank you, everybody! :D**

**We're almost at the end! Only two chapters left! And by the way, nobody's getting Lillian. They share. XD I recently opened up a fanfic of the newest (not yet released in English though!) HM game, [A New Beginning/Land of Beginning/Land of Origins] titled 'Average Life'. If you don't mind, please check it out. :)**

**YAY! FAIL ADVERTISING!**

**I pray that I will update quicker from now on and not take four months. ==**

**I had to make a schedule of some sort - I don't CARE - so I can organize my writing time properly.**

**Monday: _Average Life_**

**Tuesday: _Blood Type Boy_ (New series coming soon)**

**Wednesday: _Twisted Fairytales_**

**Thursday: _The Challenges Of Two Idiots_ After it's finished, the new one will be _Ghosts Aren't Bad!_  
**

**Friday: _Reina_ & _The Lives Of A Deliquent and A Cat_ [Warrior Cats Fanfic]**

**Saturday: Half Life [OC Series]**

**Sunday: Random or continuous HM oneshot**

**I have to follow this schedule - I don't CARE - so I can keep going back regularly on fanfiction.**

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**END OF AUTHOR'S NOTE**


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